Category: Plan of Happiness

Conflict: The Source of Progress

Human nature teaches us to avoid conflict. Natural law (God) teaches us that conflict is a necessary part of life and can bring us closer to God.

Consider the following study conducted by Boulding in 1964 on conflict.

Boulding brought together managers from across multiple industries—forming them into teams and telling them that their problem-solving techniques would be analyzed.  What Boulding didn’t tell these managers, however, was that a “devil’s advocate” or critic would be planted in half of the teams.  The critic’s role was to challenge the team’s solutions, and push them to consider additional ideas throughout their problem-solving process.

What Boulding discovered, was that the teams having a devil’s advocate all performed significantly better in their tasks, and produced multiple options for successfully solving a problem.

Then, halfway through the experiment, Boulding allowed each team to expel one member.  Every team having a devil’s advocate chose to expel that critic.

Boulding then observed that the quality of those teams’ analysis and problem-solving abilities rapidly declined.  Boulding concluded that, ironically, the highest-performing teams ended up eliminating their  competitive advantage—because they didn’t like how the critic’s comments made them feel.

Intellectually, it is easy for many of us to buy into the idea that competition and confrontation can indeed cause others to perform better, and can spark creativity within an organization—but on a personal level,we don’t like how conflict feels.

Being willing to take, and learn from, criticism is an important skill in becoming an effective leader and communicator.

God places before us a constant stream of conflict to temper our capabilities and mold them into God-like characteristics.

A Favor, A Present, A Gift

What is a favor? A favor is…

  • Something you do for someone expecting a return of equal or greater value
    • Hence the saying: return the favor.
  • A favorable word in behalf of someone else.
  • A letter of recommendation you write for someone
  • A kind deed that helps someone else get something or avoid something

What is a present? A present is…

  • A wrapped surprise given under obligation or in expectation
    • Birthday present
    • Easter present
    • Valentine’s present
    • Mother’s Day and Father’s Day present
    • Christmas present
  • Something that usually costs money

The Temple

The common discussion in gospel doctrine, priesthood meetings, and Relief Society classes with respect to the temple, centers on the temple as a place to feel the spirit and to escape the world.

Feeling the spirit and escaping the world are benefits of being in the Lord’s House, but not the purpose for attending the Lord’s House.

D&C 42:36 and the 109th section with specific reference to verses 7 and 14 describe the function and purpose of the temple much the same as those of a university. We learn about the Plan of Happiness and other doctrines in the temple by various means.

Pain Avoidance vs. Pain Priority

Pain Avoidance vs Pain Priority

There is a certain zone for athletes called the sweet spot, that when achieved is almost impossible to describe. Any athlete who has ever hit the sweet spot craves its return. The entry price is however, very high.

The hours of training required to achieve the sweet spot means that pain must be a priority. Pain is a constant in life. We will suffer some degree of pain regardless of efforts to the contrary. Our choice is the kind of pain we wish to endure.

Teaching and holding the students accountable

Teaching:

The act of showing love by holding the student accountable for growth

What does it mean to hold someone accountable? Have you ever held someone accountable for what they want? Some years ago my son Stuart asked me to help him prepare for a mission. One of the things he asked me to help him with was cleanliness, or should I say, lack thereof.

During the initial weeks of his preparation, he heard a repeated question: “Stuart is your room up to missionary standards?” He never argued with me from that point on. Having a clean room was something he wanted. He gave me permission to hold him accountable for serving a mission and a clean room was a stepping-stone along the way.

Lot and Abraham: a contrast in priorities

Here is a letter I sent to Stuart who is serving as a missionary in the Spain, Malaga mission.

Dear Elder Himmer,

My greatest insight for today was during the 3rd hour at church. I was asked to teach a short lesson on avoiding temptation. So I studied the story of Abraham and Lot.

If you’ll remember, Lot and Abraham divided their wealth and Lot took the more fertile lands and Abraham was content with what was left over.

A Father’s Day Tribute

God The Father
Father’s Day 2008

I don’t remember the exact details, but this is what I’ve put together so far. The spirits were innumerable, but we all felt we had front row seats. The Father presented His plan, we would take on a mortal body, different from the spiritual one we currently have. We were all excited, but we didn’t know exactly what that meant.

He taught us that we would be in a fallen state, sin would be rampant and people would make poor choices that would directly and indirectly lead to a lot of suffering and pain. We learned that when we made a poor choice, He would allow the natural consequences to happen, which was another way of saying we would be punished for our own sins.